February 15, 2007 |
Posted By Patrick J. Lamb |
0 Comments |
Robert E. Lamb (1924-2007)
I begin by asking you to forgive me this entry. It has nothing to do with client service or the management of law firms. But it has everything to do with who I am as a person. And it is a measure of how important this blog is to me that I turn to it when I have something like this to share.
My dad died an hour ago. I am stuck at O'Hare waiting for a plane to get to Florida to be with my Mom. Because of the weather problems in Chicago this week, I won't get to Tampa until tomorrow morning. My Dad had been suffering, ravaged by both Parkinson's and Alzheimer's, and he was out of it. But the finality of it hurts. And after 56 years of marriage, my Mom hurts all the while knowing that my Dad is in a better place. And it pains me to hear her in pain.
My Dad was not a great person in a Churchillian manner. He was a great person in the salt-of-the-earth-solid-midwestern-stock manner. He went to church, he paid his taxes. He voted in every election, and while he loved politics, he disliked politicians. He was a great friend. But most of all, he honored my Mother, and he was a great father. My parenting skills will never be as good as his. And as much a wordsmith as I am, he was not. He struggled to find the right words, but he always communicated exactly what needed to be said. He was humble and not at all prone to self-promotion. I guess that says something about my Mother. Or that certain traits skip generations.
Allow me one story about my Dad. My wife and I were talking about adopting kids since we seemed unable to have children of our own. I am very proud of my Irish bloodlines, and I had a hard time embracing adoption because my child's blood would not be my own. I told my Dad of my struggle and he looked at me and said, "Being a father is not about your heart, its about your soul." I now am the proud father of 3 adopted children and 1 biological child. Every time I look at one of my kids, I thank God I was the son of a wise man.
So, to my Dad, I pray the old Irish prayer with a bit of a twist: May the wind be at your back. May you step lightly. And now that God has you in the palm of His hand, please ask him to bless your family as we struggle to cope with the absence of such a great man.
My dad died an hour ago. I am stuck at O'Hare waiting for a plane to get to Florida to be with my Mom. Because of the weather problems in Chicago this week, I won't get to Tampa until tomorrow morning. My Dad had been suffering, ravaged by both Parkinson's and Alzheimer's, and he was out of it. But the finality of it hurts. And after 56 years of marriage, my Mom hurts all the while knowing that my Dad is in a better place. And it pains me to hear her in pain.
My Dad was not a great person in a Churchillian manner. He was a great person in the salt-of-the-earth-solid-midwestern-stock manner. He went to church, he paid his taxes. He voted in every election, and while he loved politics, he disliked politicians. He was a great friend. But most of all, he honored my Mother, and he was a great father. My parenting skills will never be as good as his. And as much a wordsmith as I am, he was not. He struggled to find the right words, but he always communicated exactly what needed to be said. He was humble and not at all prone to self-promotion. I guess that says something about my Mother. Or that certain traits skip generations.
Allow me one story about my Dad. My wife and I were talking about adopting kids since we seemed unable to have children of our own. I am very proud of my Irish bloodlines, and I had a hard time embracing adoption because my child's blood would not be my own. I told my Dad of my struggle and he looked at me and said, "Being a father is not about your heart, its about your soul." I now am the proud father of 3 adopted children and 1 biological child. Every time I look at one of my kids, I thank God I was the son of a wise man.
So, to my Dad, I pray the old Irish prayer with a bit of a twist: May the wind be at your back. May you step lightly. And now that God has you in the palm of His hand, please ask him to bless your family as we struggle to cope with the absence of such a great man.
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